August 23, 2009

August 15, 2009

August 8, 2009

7 Top Tips

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7 Top Tips


1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you slice.


2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.


3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.


4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.


5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.


6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.


7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


Daily thought:

Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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August 1, 2009

Living in 2009

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Living in 2009

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING
at yourself.

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