Australian Drink quotes

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None of the men who in this country have left footprints behind them have been cold water men. Sir John Robertson

Beer makes you feel how you ought to feel without beer. Henry Lawson

Never have I seen such enthusiasm for water - and so little of it drunk. Sir George Reid when opening the Kalgoorlie pipeline.

Des will spend about 30 hours in the water on this swim. It's not natural for a man to go that long without a beer. Barry Rodgers, trainer of long distance swimmer Des Redford, speaking as his champion prepared to swim from Newcastle to Sydney.

The population of Sydney (circa 1806) was divided into two classes, those who sold rum and those who drank it. Dr George Macakness

Eventually every house in the (North Sydney) area will have a bottle collection crate and we'll be collecting more than Mosman. And the mayor told me, they're much bigger pisspots over here. Ron Walters

The advertising industry lives a very cyclical life. December is the month for getting pissed John Singleton

This feat was to endear me to some of my fellow Australians more than anything else I ever achieved. Bob Hawke in reference to his great beer drinking achievement.
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Emergency Calls From Memphis USA

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EMERGENCY CALLS: NO WONDER THE POLICE ARE AFRAID TO COME!!

Believe it or not... These are Memphis, TN 's REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
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And the winner is........And My Personal Favourite!!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1.

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.
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The Nation Bankrupting Network

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The National Broadband Network (NBN) will one day be finally built. Costs are soaring out of control and must be covered so the nation may end up bankrupt.

But that’s OK, you can download the news of the country going under faster than ever before.

That’s if you can afford to be connected to the NBN that is………..

Since the success of the NBN requires people to connect to it the government will announce a Broadband Stimulus (BS). They will have to sell their BS to parliament and after that they will completely BS the nation.

All they will talk will be BS and if the BS fails to get the numbers the NBN needs expect more BS to come.

Even that amount of BS probably won’t help the NBN so there will be even more BS again and again.

And there’ll probably be more BS in the years to come as well, there’ll be nothing but BS coming from Canberra.

The BS is not likely to end. In fact I think the BS was coming from there long before they even thought of the NBN.
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