Together In Electric Dreams

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The Sex life of an Electron

by Eddie Currents

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to seek out a cute little coil to help him discharge.

He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride in his Megacycle. They rode across the Wheatstone Bridge and stopped by a Magnetic field with flowing currents and frolicked in the sine waves.

Micro-Farad, attracted by Millie-Amp's characterisic curves soon had her fully charged and proceeded to excite her resistance to a minimum. He gently laid her at ground potential, raised her frequency and lowered her reluctance.

With a quick arc, he pulled out his high voltage probe and inserted it in her socket, connecting them in parallel. He slowly began short circuiting her resistance shunt while quickly raising her thermal conductance level to mil-spec. Fully excited, Milli- Amp mumbled "MHO...MHO...MHO"

With his tube operating well into class C, and her field vibrating with his current flow, a corona formed which instantly caused her shunt to overheat just at the point when Micro-Farad rapidly discharged and drained off every electron into her grid.

They fluxed all night trying various connectors and sockets until his magnet had a soft core and lost all of its field strength.

Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her solenoids and with his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to excite his field. Not ready to be quiescent, they spent the rest of the evening reversing polarity and blowing each others fuses.
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Signs She Is Bored In Bed

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20. After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."

19. Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your a*s.

18. Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"

17. Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.

16. Only moans during commercial breaks.

15. Starts her fake orgasm during foreplay.

14. Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.

13. Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.

12. You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.

11. Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.

10. During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda,Yadda."

9. Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.

8. Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.

7. Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.

6. Keeps asking "Are you SURE you're not gay?"

5. Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating!!

4. Holds up a picture of the Playboy centrefold to hurry you along.

3. Asks to be on top so she can balance her chequebook better.

2. She yells out her own name.

1. Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.
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The Job Interview

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Interviewer: Any boyfriends?
Candidate: Yes.

Interviewer: Is he rich?
Candidate: Yes, very rich. He owns a company.

Interviewer: Sorry, we cannot employ you because if your boyfriend doesn't want to employ you then neither do we!
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Diversity Poster?

It's OK

Patience